Children and Divorce:
For children, divorce can be stressful, sad and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain or angry at the prospect of mom and dad spitting up. As a parent, you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your kids cope with divorce means providing stability in your home and attending to your children needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. It won"t be a seamless process, but these tips can help your children cope.
In the last few years, higher quality research which has allowed the "meta-analysis" of previously published research, has shown the negative effects of divorce on children have been greatly exaggerated. In the past we read that children of divorce suffered from depression, failed in school, and got in trouble with the law. Children with depression and conduct disorders showed indications of those problems predivorce because there parental conflict predivorce.
Researchers now view conflict, rather then the divorce or residential schedule , as the single most critical determining factor in children"s post-divorce adjustment. The children who succeed after divorce, have parent who can communicate effectively and work together as parents.
Actually, children"s psychological reactions to their parents divorce vary in degree dependent on three factor
Older studies showed boys had greater social and academic adjustment problems than girls. New evidence indicates that when children"s have a hard time, boys and girls suffer equally, they just differ in how they suffer. Boys are more externally symptomatic then girls, they act out their anger, frustration and hurt. They may get into trouble in school, fight more with peers and parents. Girls tent to internalize their distress. They may become depressed, develop headaches or stomach aches, and have changes in their eating and sleeping patterns.
A drop in parents income often caused by the same income now supporting two households directly affects children over time in terms of proper nutrition, involvement in extracurricular activities, clothing (no more designer jeans and fancy shoes), and school choices. Sometimes a parent who had stayed home with the children is forced into the workplace and the children experience an increase in time in child care.
A child continued involvement with both of his or her parents allows for realistic and better balanced future relationships. Children learn how to be in relationship by their relationship with their parents. If they are secure in their relationship with their parents, chances are they will adapt well to various time-sharing schedules and experience security and fulfillment.
In the last few years, higher quality research which has allowed the "meta-analysis" of previously published research, has shown the negative effects of divorce on children have been greatly exaggerated. In the past we read that children of divorce suffered from depression, failed in school, and got in trouble with the law. Children with depression and conduct disorders showed indications of those problems predivorce because there parental conflict predivorce.
Researchers now view conflict, rather then the divorce or residential schedule , as the single most critical determining factor in children"s post-divorce adjustment. The children who succeed after divorce, have parent who can communicate effectively and work together as parents.
Actually, children"s psychological reactions to their parents divorce vary in degree dependent on three factor
- The quality their relationship with each of their parents before separation,
- The intensity and duration of the parental conflict, and
- The parents ability to focus on the needs of children in their divorce.
Older studies showed boys had greater social and academic adjustment problems than girls. New evidence indicates that when children"s have a hard time, boys and girls suffer equally, they just differ in how they suffer. Boys are more externally symptomatic then girls, they act out their anger, frustration and hurt. They may get into trouble in school, fight more with peers and parents. Girls tent to internalize their distress. They may become depressed, develop headaches or stomach aches, and have changes in their eating and sleeping patterns.
A drop in parents income often caused by the same income now supporting two households directly affects children over time in terms of proper nutrition, involvement in extracurricular activities, clothing (no more designer jeans and fancy shoes), and school choices. Sometimes a parent who had stayed home with the children is forced into the workplace and the children experience an increase in time in child care.
A child continued involvement with both of his or her parents allows for realistic and better balanced future relationships. Children learn how to be in relationship by their relationship with their parents. If they are secure in their relationship with their parents, chances are they will adapt well to various time-sharing schedules and experience security and fulfillment.
